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Add 1 Cup of Humiliation…

December 14th, 2007 by nebulous

I have no idea what the law says about child abuse. I imagine the border surrounding the territory known as Child Abuse is a big gray line. Spanking a kid isn’t against the law. Spanking a kid in the face with a brick is. We may disagree on how gray that border is, but we can all agree that this picture lives in the land-locked heartland of Child Abuse. There is no question.

She cries every time I drink coffee. I think she’s convinced that I’m going to eat her. I have no idea how you undo this sort of psychological damage.

Also, you might think this picture was taken professionally, since only a studio would have these kind of props available. You would be wrong. My wife definitely purchased a giant coffee mug (or possibly a shrink-ray) for this photo. Yet I’m sure I still would have lost the argument referenced in my previous post.

Posted in Ryan |

Innovative Portraits

December 10th, 2007 by nebulous

We recently had some professional family portraits taken. My wife takes approximately 600 pictures each month with her billion dollar camera and various million dollar lenses and [insert exaggerated amount] dollar backdrops and props. So, as she can explain, I was very supportive when she said she wanted to pay some other people to take pictures of us. I took a stand and gave an argument based on facts and logic. Fast-forward. We had pictures taken. Also, I owe her a massage, some jewelry, and I have to watch the kids so she can go out. Here is a picture of the kids lying on a burlap sack that we paid someone else to take with a digital SLR…but it wasn’t our digital SLR. That’s key.

It’s too bad I’m not up to Month 35 yet. This would be a perfect picture for a caption:

Taylor: Just give up. You will not get more attention than me.

Ryan: Are you kidding? Look at me. I’m a baby. You don’t stand a chance. Just look at my hat! The readers of this web site have already forgotten that you’re in this photo.

And for those that didn’t notice, a page for Months 23 and 24 was added a couple weeks ago.

Posted in Ryan, Taylor |